111. Mindset Mini: Benefits of Two Different Households

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  111. Benefit of 2 different households

  Hello friends and welcome back to the podcast. I'm a little nasally today, just getting over a cold, but I wanted to share this mindset mini sode with you today because , it's a thought exercise that I have played with for a long time and I have really found myself loving it and more and more these days and sharing it with more and more of my clients.

  So here's the exercise. It's a question. What if the differences between the co parenting households, what if the differences were actually useful and valuable to our kids? What if the differences between the two households are actually a benefit to our kids? I think for most co parenting parents, that is a whack a doodle question to ask.

  We so often come to co parenting upset. that there are differences between the two households. Maybe there's differences around bedtimes or food or screen time or how we deal with discipline or what we do on the holidays, how we celebrate birthdays, how we deal with illnesses, there could be so many differences between the two households.

  And I love to throw out this question , what if that's in our kids best interest? How could it be best for them to have these differences? It's so easy to fall into a thought pattern where it's detrimental to our kids. And if there is one particular thing that's detrimental, maybe you find that having , very different bedtimes between the two households might be detrimental to the kiddos.

  But if there really isn't a concrete thing that seems detrimental to the kids, what if it's actually a benefit to them? What are all the ways that it could be a benefit? I listened to a podcast once, and The woman that was being interviewed was a mediator at the UN, all right, and she talked about her youth, like growing up, the, the child of a divorced couple.

  Very different households, one very conservative, one very liberal, and all the different patterns that came out of being in those very different, distinct households. And what I took away from that interview was, was, well, maybe my kids will grow up to be Mediators at the UN or negotiators of some sort, but at least what they're going to grow up with is love and connection with a variety of people who have a variety of values and preferences and traditions, and maybe that will make them.

  Even more empathetic and compassionate to everyone they come across in their life. So I decided to adopt this thought that the differences between our households are actually beneficial for my kids. It's a choice. We get to choose what we're going to think. But with any thought, especially when we're, we're deciding to choose an intentional thought, we'd like to question, how do I feel when I think this?

  If I'm thinking it's detrimental to my kids that there are so many differences between our two households, I feel a lack, right? I feel upset. I feel worried. I feel anxious about what's going to happen to them because this is so detrimental. If, instead, I decide that this is a benefit to them, it will teach them open mindedness and curiosity and resilience, then I feel love, and I feel grounded, and I feel calm, and that's what I want to feel more of.

  in my co parenting relationship and in my parenting relationship. So play with that yourself. Notice first, what are your thoughts about the differences between your two households? And then question, what do I want to think? What is the most helpful thought about the differences between our two households?

  I would love to know what, you come up with. You can feel free to drop me a line. There's a comment box on my website. It's meggluckman. com, and I would love to hear what you decide to think about the differences between your two households. All right, y'all, that's what I have for you this week. I will talk to you again soon.

What if the differences between your co-parenting homes are good for your kids?

Asking this question can help shift our perspectives from seeing differences in co-parenting homes as negative, to considering them as potentially beneficial for our kiddos.

The question encourages us to collect evidence on the positive aspects of diversity in parenting styles and to look for where they foster empathy, adaptability, and understanding in our children.

Check out this short & sweet episode to see if asking yourself one question might shift how you feel about co-parenting (even just a smidgen).

Happy listening!